Posts from the ‘Relationship’ Category

how long is too long?

Happy New Year!

yes i know…. it’s already into February…. it had been too long since i write anything partly because work had been hectic and i can’t seem to get into the site from work to write…..

let’s get to the topic of the day….. how long is too long?  yes…. let’s back up on the story… it had been going on for about over a month or two…. so there is this guy who said yea i like you…. i want to go out w/u….. then NEVER make an attempt to set a date or time to go out with me…. so let me ask u this question…. how long do you wait around for the guy to finally say let’s go out on X day?

once i got the message on Friday night was “what are you up to for the weekends?”  well my response “nothing much”  i left room for him to say yea lets go do this or that…. even cheap dinner would have been fine with me…. but you want to know what the response i got?  “yea so i’m doing this(…) on Saturday and on Sunday (…..) this….”  well all i can say was have fun….  but what i don’t understand and more confuse is i’m still getting i know i like you, etc… messages….

what even worse was i got another message the other day saying ” anything interesting going on tonight”  my response again was ” nothing much, just got some stuff done” then i got message with “well have a good night”

i simply don’t get this…. why do you need to know what i’m doing for the weekends or for the night if you have plans yourself already and have no plan on going out?  what i don’t get most is why am i still getting messages with i do have feeling for you….. yes that is why my post for today is how long is too long to wait for the guy?  well valentine day is just around the corner…. it’s not something that was going on for a week or two…. it is over a month…. my limit well if he doesn’t say anything by coming up weekends to go out then i’m out….  sometimes i don’t even get myself…. do i like him?  50/50….. he is definitely not someone who i would write off from the start and he does grow on me…. that is why i said 50/50….. he is definitely someone i would like to know more and see what happens next….

i love how my love life is beginning in 2011…. i hope your love life is going better than mine though….

 

Almost Over….

Aside from the other post i can’t believe this year is almost over…. i don’t know where i’ll be in 2 yrs from now on but i did accomplished so many tasks this year alone i couldn’t be prouder…. i do want to write about little bit of update on everything aka the guy i had been writing about, the job, the life…. i know i said i’m not going to write about him anymore but i think before the year end i should one last time….

i hope this year had been good to you guys…. would love to hear about your accomplishments and your goals…..

Mid-week

it’s half way through the week already….. i felt like time is going fast and there is nothing i can do to stop the time even for a second…. i might as well stop & smell the roses along the way and enjoy my life…..  i must admit for this time of the year the weather is good compare to other years…. this is just random post but i do want to thanks to some of you who left comments…. i did get a chance to read them all…. i still haven’t had a chance to browse myself with different feature on word press…. i haven’t had a chance to read most people post on the site either except the one that are freshly pressed….  if there is specific topic u guys are more interested in i’ll be more than happy to write about it….

i seem to be writing about relationship topic lately…. my daily new post is based on what happen the day i’m writing or the day before…. so it’s random…. this is more like my own diary….. have u guys ever save term paper or essay from Middle School, High School or even College?  i do save some random paper & every time i looked back i love how my handwriting have change over the years…. i love to read what i wrote & laughed/learned at my own mistakes i made on the paper….i do hope one day i read back all those posts i wrote and all the heartache trouble i was feeling & be able to laugh about it….

on a separate note—- i do miss traveling…. since my brand new job =) will be starting next week i’m not going to have time to travel much till next year…. but it seem like it’s for the best considering i’m broke…. i might as well save some cash for myself for the holiday….. i’m counting down the time to leave work…. have a fabulous day!

Priority vs. Option

I read someone quote the other day & i couldn’t better say so myself….

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

it’s a good quote…. most of the time we might not realized we are their option or we might not want to admit we are the option for them….. perfect example would be the last post i wrote…. i don’t want a guy with a gf trying to stay in touch with me…. am i his option?  probably….. i don’t mean a guy with a gf can’t talk to me…. yes he can talk to me in public not message me afterward and asking how is my life?  to me that is shady…. why don’t u ask when i see u in public how is my life?  not asking questions & messaging me afterwards to me is a bit shady…. i’m sure he got better explanation…. i’m with my gf & i don’t want her to get the wrong ideas…. could it be that?  probably…. if that is the case then there is no need to send me message right?

the better scenario for the quote would be the man with a wife w/out his wedding ring (i mentioned in the last post)….. i personally think the wife is his priority (at least i hope so) all the other girls he was chatting with are his option…. would u want to be the girl (even if u r a guy reading this) do u want to be the person allowing yourself to be their option?  i know i don’t…. nobody deserves to be second…. nobody deserves to be a backup person just in case if there is small chance if their relationship with someone else didn’t work out….

what about priority people?  would you like it if the person you’re seeing already have someone on their mind?  backup option person?  i know i wouldn’t like it…. is that mean the person i’m seeing doesn’t like me fully?  probably whether they like to admit it or not…. there is no need to have the option or backup person u r secretly chatting with….. committed to the person you’re seeing and see where the relationship would take u…. if u r spending time or getting to know the option person than u r taking away ur time you could be spending with your priority person….

i could feel for both side….. i had been on both side….. u might think it’s better to be the priority person…. no it’s not true…. u r hurt as much as being the option person…. if there is a third option…. i would choose to be neither…. i had seen people with bf or gf who are fully committed to the person they are seeing… they would just greet and say hello to the opposite sex but never allowing themselves to lead them on…. unfortunately none of them was the person i was dating… i always end up seeing someone who want to have backup person or someone who like me but i’m their backup person….  some have luck in love & other don’t….. i have to say the past 2 yrs have shown me i’m the one without luck when it come to love…. hopefully it’ll change….

emotionally

Last week i ran into someone i haven’t seen for a while….   greeting was in order so we greeted…. long story short he had mentioned he liked me in the past but i heard from his friend afterward he is officially seeing someone…. i don’t think he was seeing anyone when he told me but there was about 2-3 months afterward one of his friend mentioned it….. anyways…. when i ran into him i think one of the girls is his gf but neither his friends nor he mentioned anything or introduce me to the girl…. He seem friendly toward me but after talking briefly he went quickly and stand next to the girl…. quickly as in quickly switching over to her side & i saw that he giving her signal to leave the crowd with him…. ok maybe he doesn’t want to talk….  but i thought it was a bit rude…. i didn’t really care for it since i don’t know him very well to begin with…. i do hate ran into people where i don’t know them well but know them enough that have to exchange “hello and bye.”

back to the story…. so after he moved quickly next to her  i sort of have this feeling maybe this is the girl he is seeing…. anyways after greeting i left since i got this unwanted vibe…. i went back to the crowd i was with and i went back home shortly after that…. when i got back home then i realized he had sent me msg…. nice seeing u etc…. i was surprised by it…. he seems like he wanted to talk when i saw him cuz he was the one give me signal to come and talk….. after going back and forth on no u come instead i decided i might as well go over there since i didn’t want people to get the wrong ideas….. we talked about less than 1 min then he moved over to her side…. i was a bit surprised by it…. i thought perhaps he wanted to introduced me to her but that wasn’t it….

back to the msg….i just mentioned back to him there was no need to msg me which i think in my opinion it’s true…. why do u need to msg someone who u don’t know very well?  plus when u see that person u don’t talk much to them….. in my opinion there was no reason to…. if i happen to see him again because of the little stunt he pulled i might just smile from afar instead from now on… there was no need to go over & made small talk if i see him in the future…. right?  there is a huge chance he might do the same (i don’t know if the girl thought i was the one who wanted to talk to him badly or something…. i wouldn’t want to get her feeling hurt)…. i wouldn’t send any msg to someone i don’t know well and not talk when u actually see them in person then said let’s catch up more when i see u next time in msg…. ummmm i don’t get it… i do feel like i’m writing in circle… i do apologize for that….

i did mentioned to him why he do that?  there was just casual response back but nothing mentioned why or the reason he sending me msg which i had asked…. i’m more curious why he emailing me?  would u do that?  i know i wouldn’t…..does he only want me to come over and talk to made his gf jealous?  i wasn’t flirting with him….. does he only want me to come over for his own ego?  see girls still come and talk to me…. if that is the case i’m hurt…. if u read my other post i had written numerous time if i don’t like someone i wouldn’t lead them on…. i don’t like someone who have gf cheating on them emotionally either…. i do got a vibe he wanted to talk but at the same time he wasn’t talking much…. i don’t know i’m confused…. in the past way before all this there was  bit of argument between him and I  at the end i mentioned to him don’t send me msg… so he know enough to not msg me….

i titled the post “emotionally” because of this reason…. let’s say he was trying just to be friendly…. i don’t want his gf to get the wrong ideas considering she was standing there & we never got introduced…. he had like me at one point & i don’t know if he still does or doesn’t…. that is his business…. i wouldn’t want my significant other to keep in contact with someone whom they had previously had feeling for…. it could be just minor crush but still i wouldn’t want them cheat on me emotionally….. what if the feeling come back after going back and forth on the msg…. if he wants to be friend he would had introduce me to the girl….

there was another story i remember about emotionally cheating or wanted to cheat emotionally story (not him) though….my friend and I have this mutual friend & one day he bring his coworker along with him… we saw him & had a chat that was it…. remember the place we all met up was in a bar….then my friend had lunch with the mutual friend & the guy had tag along with the mutual friend again…. my friend noticed the guy was wearing the wedding ring…. she was surprise… she didn’t noticed it before…. she asked them are you marry?  he didn’t response….. how come u don’t wear ur wedding ring when i saw u at the bar?  there was no response… alot of ummm…. my friend and I didn’t flirt with the guy just casual chat nice meeting u but we noticed he was chatting with a lot of girls that night…. the mutual friend said yea he is married but later denied again…. umm ok… anyways my friend & I saw them again at a bar…. that time my friend & i noticed he wasn’t wearing a ring at the bar again….. it turned out he does have a wife who is at home…. is he want to cheat on her?  i don’t know for sure… but emotionally i think in a way he is cheating…. yes there is no rule u can’t come to the bar for a drink but do wear ur wedding ring…. don’t put it inside your pocket or leave it somewhere…. there is no reason to mislead the wife or the girls he was chatting with…. right?

long story short…. yes maybe i’m taking this the wrong way on story i wroted earlier…. but i wouldn’t want to be the girl he wanted to cheat emotionally with…. why wasting my time with someone who have a gf?  yes i do know people with girlfriends and i do chat with them…. i wouldn’t cross the line & i know they wouldn’t cross the line…. they would introduce to me to their gf & we all chat on random issues…..  i have a feeling he would never introduce me to the girl…..

Rain Rain go away….

awww another rainy day….. those are the days when you wish you have someone to spend time with by the fireplace…. i don’t own fireplace or know anyone that own fireplace….. so for obvious reason i can’t spend my rainy day sitting by the fireplace and read books….. i will just have to sit at my desk and write one more post on the word press instead…. see positive attitude!

i can’t wait to get out of this job…. awww….. the more i look at it the more i’m glad i took the offer….. these day jobs are hard to come by…. people are looking everywhere…. some took them at least a year or so to find a job…. i know someone who graduate same times as i did still have hard time finding a job….. well it does help that she got rich daddy & mommy who help pay her bills…. even so i can see in her eyes she’ll take any good offer that will come her way….. life is full of surprises…. u might have luck in one area of your life but might be doing ok in the another area of your life which happen to be the area you wish you excel in…..forget about work related issues for this topic…. since i haven’t written much about love life i figure i could write one more post about love today….

let’s take this girl i know for example:  she is great…. she is not the person i would see every weekends or everyday but when i do see her we talked for a long time…. i would tell her about my love life…. it’s interesting to hear her feedback… i know she would tell me the answer i’m looking for whereas friends i hang out with mostly would tell me the answer they think they should say in this type of situation…. so i trust her answer…. i value her answers especially when it come to love….  she got more than one person in her life every time i met up with her…. she is experience in love than i would ever be….she would say u know how guilty i feel but i know it will not work out with this person….. she doesn’t want to let go either…. well i do give her credits…. the girl dated more guys than i would ever date…. she does have a gut to go on date with guys even though she know it’s not going to work out…. i guess in a way she got nothing to lose by going out to dinner…. she is right…. how would u know?  yes u know it’s not going to work out with this person but by going out on a dinner 1) you’re out of the house meaning u could run into someone u might like at the restaurant or on your way to the restaurant or even on your way back home…. i mean literally there is so many way you could have met another person not just for dating just meeting new people…. 2) the person you went out with could potentially set you up on date with someone else…. ok maybe not so much on the last part….. i’m just rambling…. but u got the point… just getting up and getting out of the house u could meet so many different people…. of course that was her case…. but for MOI…. nah…. why u ask?

wellll….

with my luck…. i ran into my potential someone i actually like who got the ideas i’m on a date & i’m not interested in him….  back off….. barely talk to me when see me….. meanwhile while i was on the date with the guy i’m not feeling so much got the sense i’m not into him…. i felt guilty….. there are so many reasons but that is one good example why i decided not to go on a date with someone i’m not feeling….. there is chemistry…. there is spark when u meet someone…. u know u want to get to know better….. it doesn’t matter who is in the room all u want to do is talk to that person and wish the night haven’t end so quickly…. u hope he call u…. i had those feelings before…. i know right there and there that i’m into him…. if i don’t feel that way i wouldn’t bother with going to dinner…. i felt like i’m wasting his time…. he could be out with someone else who will like him…. i don’t want to string him along just so i can have a date on Friday night….

u want to knows second reasons?  for instance…. i know this guy who didn’t ask directly to go on date but he would randomly texted me and ask me to come out for a drink…. i declined about 2 times for drink…. another time to go out to see a show…. plus random text messages he sent me….even though i replied the text messages i never went out to meet with him by myself…. if i happen to see with a group of people i would greet and talk but that about it…. i guess he know i’m not into him…. yes i would love to hang out and grab a drink or go see a show if i didn’t get the vibe he likes me…. anyways…. recently he asked someone i know….. i’m happy for them… but i would never tell her he sort of come on to me first…. that is the reasons why i would never go out with someone i’m not that into…. why waste their time…. after declining or making an excuse for about four or five times they will get the hint and move on to another girl….. see good things come out from all this….

let it go if he/she is not the one…. someone else will get it but that is ok…. don’t keep someone who you know that it doesn’t belong to you….. because another person will let go of someone they know it’s not right for them so u could MEET him/her…. it’ll be YOUR! =)  happy rainy day…..

Learning about MYSELF

These past few weeks since i come back from my trip i’m in the between zone…. let me back up and explain that….. u know when u r happy and when u r sad…. i don’t feel happy or sad…. is that possible?  i don’t want to smile nor cry….. Being alone on the trip I learned a lot about myself…. some i already knew about but it’s good to have that reminder again….Could that be the reason I’m not sad anymore?

I was literally having the breakdown before the trip….. frustration with my job, my love life, and my life in general…. it was a good trip….. a good trip as in i got a chance to be more independent…. i learned not to depend on people….. the reason?  my very own friend who I can’t rely on….. if i canceled one of my destination because she can’t make final destination i would have never learn more things about myself….. i would had never experience cultures, food, or meet people….. part of me is glad i could always say “hey i went to this and that destination by myself”  but would i ever travel alone again…. probably not….. yes i don’t mind being on the plane or bus or any type of transportation alone…. what i do mind is eating alone or seeing different culture alone…. i want to share the experience with somebody…. i could always point this or he/she could point out some building and say something funny…. life is short…. yes that mean enjoy it while it last…. u don’t know when u time will be up but would that be nice to have someone to share with?  i’m not talking about going out and finding “the one” to go on trips with u…. just having good friends…..

i’m stuck in between…. i have FOUR different type of friends…. here is an example of the first type…. i have friends that love to travel but they are unreliable…. if there is bombing (god forbid) we have to run and if i happen to fall down & can’t get up…. i know they would kept running….. yes that’s one type of people i know….

here is the second type…. yes i would love to travel…. let’s go here and there…. agree to the time frame and back out because they rather do something else or give lame excuse…. if u can’t make it say ahead….. but then again all of a sudden her “ex” supposedly happen to be settling down in that location, i’ll hear “let’s go” WHAT R WE WAITING FOR?  my answer “NO THANKS”  that is the same type that got mad if i don’t invited them when i go on trips…. i need at least someone who is willing to go…. not the one that kept changing their mind because something better come along…. why on earth would i invited them to go on a trip?  if i book the plane tickets and they can’t make it what would i supposed to do?

Third type…. who rely too much on their significant others…. if their significant others couldn’t make it they wouldn’t even come out…. not just a trip just going out to eat in general…. if they happen to make it they’ll just spend and talk with their significant others…. those one i’m detaching myself one by one…. thanks for the invite but i don’t want to come all the way out to meet u and u canceled because ur bf doesn’t want u to go eat at this location…..

Last type… the one who called last minutes because they don’t want to go to party or some events alone….. LAST MINUTES and then they don’t tell full details of the party as in example the theme of the party….. i have someone who tell me about let’s go out with this and that person…. someone birthday…. my response ok…. then an hr before i’m coming out to meet her she happen to tell me the theme of this going out to drink is “THIS”  i need to have headband… ummm ok….. then when she and i finally got to the place i realized the theme was established weeks ago…. she herself was shopping for the perfect “headband” for the theme party weeks ago…. why would u omitted this information from me? even if u tell me about the gathering last minutes… u could have mentioned it when u called to tell me the 1st time…. that is not the worse part…. the worst part is when she saw someone she knew i don’t exist in the party anymore…. But as much as i hate it, it gave me a chance to go up to some stranger i don’t know and introduce myself….. if u happen to be with a group of friends u ended up not talking to anyone aside from the one u come with…. i like to raise above ridiculous situations i always ended up in…. at the end i always ended up saying i met this really cool dude or gal….=)

i mean don’t get me wrong…. there is time they are reliable but it out weight the unreliable part…. i do have some small numbers of friend who i can rely on but the sad part is they don’t live where i live…. they had moved to other cities and settling into the place already…. just day-to-day going out they can’t be here with me =/  after time period we ended up growing apart….  i remember in my freshmen english class, the professor mentioned there is always someone out there who matched ur personality, who is just like u but they happen to be another side of the earth….. it could be the “one” or just a good friend for you….if u r lucky u will meet that person…. so far i had met numerous number of people that is close match but the 1% different is making me realized that is not the one….

The whole point of writing this is I don’t know if u happen to have friends like mine but there is always someone in our life that does something that will bug us…. u just have to know urself and surrounded with good people…. have u heard of happiness is contagious?  if u know urself and what u r capable of u could be hanging out with them but u can always make the night better….. u go out to have fun, don’t let anyone negativity put ur mood down….