Archive for July, 2010

eat, pray, love….. (my verison)

Procrastination = ME (?)

i really should had been preparing for the trip when i finally booked the flight…. instead i rely on a friend who kept changing her mind “yes-i’m going & no i’m not going”  i will be seeing her but she is not joining me on my second destination…. i finally got replying back about the question i asked “the people she knows at 2nd destination”  just in case if i’m lost or feel like wanting to eat dinner with someone or go shopping with someone i figure it will be good to have… all i’m thinking in my head was maybe they can even go with me to some places or pointed the right direction on where to eat…. i don’t mind being alone but in a foreign country i never been to this will be the 1st time i’ll be alone…. it’s hard to admit it but i’m a bit of nervous & scared…. well turned out she doesn’t know where city or town they lived…. ummm ok…. i didn’t do much planning after she mentioned she is coming with me & she knows people there…. we don’t have to worry about it…. we’ll get there & they will help us find places…. long story short i got no contact information from her…. it seems like i’ll be solo there….

really it’s my fault…. i should have known better…. i kept thinking about the commerical i’m seeing right now on Julia Robert’s new movie…. eat, pray, love….  “one woman journey across the country”  i’m hoping this journey will be my own verison of “eat, pray, love”  i didn’t get to read the book yet & the movie haven’t come out yet… too many people reserving the book at the library…. i still haven’t read it yet…. maybe i can write my own journal & when i finally get a chance to read the book i can compare…. there’ll be alot of eating on my trip…. no point of going to another country & not experiencing their traditional food…. there’ll be praying…. hoping i won’t get lost (i’m sure there’ll be tons of those moments =)) lol…. jk… maybe a little bit of that & hopely if i can find a way to experience local temples that will be good… finally LOVE…. will there be one?  well u have to wait and see… =)

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My Decision

if u read my last post i mentioned how i can’t seem to decide what to do with the trip…. the trip is on for sure…. it’s just a matter of visiting 1 country vs. 2 countries….. after paying that much $ for the plane ticket & not getting paid from work to have days off i figure i shouldn’t miss my opportunities to explore….

too many things to do & i still haven’t pack yet…. my room is so hot that i can’t seem to get anything done when i got home….by the time the room is cool down i’m ready for bed…. seriously what is wrong with me?  i want to sleep by  9 8… i’m not joking… no need to listen music, no need to open tv, no need for warm milk to get ready for bed…. as soon as i put my head down on the pillow i’m catching some zzzzzzzz already…. too tired?  i’m sitting at work all day staring at computer…. my eyes are terrible now….

well with that aside…. i booked my 1st night for the hotel for 1st destination…. i’m trying to figure out for the 2nd country i’m visiting…. hotel found but i got no clues how to get there…. taxi? yea but i hate taxi where u have to bargain for the price…. did i ever mentioned to u guys how i hate bargaining?  everything will be resolved by this weekend (hopefully)….

Checking Out!

no i’m not checking out some cute guys in the office…. let me inform you there’s absolutely none that are worth checking out…. which is abit sad….  i guess i’m losing motivation to look at least decent when i come to the office for that reason… look at it from the bright side no need to buy new clothes much, no need to fix up my face (yea barley put powder on-except sunscreen)…. with that being said i’m saving money alot on clothes & beauty products lately…. i can’t remember the last time i bought new beauty products except sunscreen….

the post new title “checking out” mean i’m literally checking out from work….  i got new person moved to my side (same dept-separate group)…. let’s just say she seem nice when she was on the other group…. she never asked the other lady to do her work…. all of the sudden she in my group now & i got tons of her work…. i wanted to complain unfortunately she is one of those older folks that had been with the company over 20yrs…. more than any managers (i’m assuming)…. she know i’m pissed…. she can tell by looking at my face…. u can tell by looking at my face when i’m happy or sad…. i have hard time hiding my face expressions…. here is the problem…. if i say i have too much stuff on my plate right now…. she will say it’s no problem just do them when u can…. do i need to work non stop 8hrs while i’m here?  it’s suck when everyone only need to work 7 hrs & got paid for 8hrs except for me….

i’m curious as to what is she doing at her spare time?  i’m doing majority of her work & i’ll be the first to know if she got some new project going on (nature of the work)…. well she got none… after doing most of her work what the hell is she doing?  obiviously nothing… in order to take the time to write what she wants me to include in the email to clients why don’t she just write them directly…. my job doesn’t require me to answer clients but since i’m doing everyone work around here it’s hard not to answers…. most of the time they don’t hear from them only me…. it shouldn’t be that way…. now i’m checking out as in checking out from updating her excel sheet…. yea it’s ur job not mine…. it’s hard to when one of them deal with 200 files & the other 200 files…. well all their stupid crap r on my desk meaning i ended up dealing with everyone files…. they may complains i got so much files but guess what folks i’m dealing with 400 to 600 files if anything need to be done…. could i just have ur job instead?

Last minutes!

basically my friend decided to not to join me last minutes to one of the destination i’m traveling… it would have been good if i had known from beginning… i have more time to see if i can go other places & do more research aka applying visa… now it’s getting close & i don’t have time to do much research let alone apply for visa..the whole day i had been doing research on what i should do there, would i be ok going there alone… i travelled before but not alone at least one person was with me…. on some level i felt ok getting lost but it’s different story when u r in foreign country where u don’t speak their language… i want to make sure i know how to get from point A to B…

long story short i was doing a bit of research earlier but later she mentioned knowing people there and it would be ok.. we don’t even need to worry about hotels till we get there.. we will figure out from there.. now i’m left to find hotels & getting around town… i have four choices:  1) not go & stay at one destination she is currently living 2)  go with travel package   3) asked her if i can get contact information of the people she knows(very last resort) 4) go ALONE!

would it be rude if i choose to go with #3?  i mean i should have known better… beginning she was the one who told me let’s go to this destination.. later said she can’t make it..i said ok maybe i’ll go since the place she is at i only need to be there 3 days max to  sight see… that was when i was browsing around hotels but later she said yea lets.. i said ok.. then she said no & later in that week or the following weeks she said yes again… i’m not kidding she went back & forth about at least 5 or 6 times.. i should have known better to look at other destinations aside from visiting her… i didn’t really do much research since i was so stress from work…

she suggested travel package & i had been looking today but i’m not liking it… it’s much expensive than i’m hoping to pay for top that off with number of places i would be sightseeing if i go alone…  what should i do?  i definitely don’t want to choose #1… after paying that much $ for plane tickets it would be useless… i would end up spending more $ just being in one place & going shopping every day….  what would you do?

Another week!

awww another Monday morning again… This morning i listened to some classical music cuz my coworker forgot to plug his headphone correctly again.. as usual another coworker who worked in the another dept pointed that out to him again..  i hear nothing nada except his humming to the tunes which bug me more than the music itself.. i actually like to listen some music that i never heard of before.. what a shame.. that was about 10 mins ago.. the funny thing is the coworker who pointed out to him have her own office with door that can open & shut..obviously she is not using the door…. i think she is watching movie(?) i’m not too sure but i can hear really loud noise that doesn’t sound like music… i got up from my seat to see where the sound coming from… it was indeed from her computer.. i was right… i think she got the hint or something.. she got up & closed her door immediately.. i don’t really care what they listened to it was quite nice to have some noise other than hearing yawning from them…

To the Beat… to the beat!

This morning was kinda of interesting at work.. one of my coworkers open this 60, 70 or 80 musics.. i never even heard of it.. but the beat was good.. he opened it rather loud that i can hear it from my desk…after about 20 mins later.. one of the ladies from other dept who sit near his desk go over to his desk & told him “music is good but i think u might need to adjust something..i can hear it from my office”  well.. she was one of those people with her own office by the window.. not like moi who sit in the cubicle & can’t see if it’s raining or sunny outside.. after she left he adjusted the volume…i can’t hear the beat no more.. =(

i don’t understand why she couldn’t shut her door.. believe it or not yesterday was 2 years i had been working here… that was the 1st time the morning was fun with musics on.. the type of musics i never heard of but loving it..i’m feeling like i’m somewhere fun… the funny part was after he adjusted the volume all i can hear was his humming to the music.. which was not good… it was more annoying to me than the actual music itself.. the lady sit far enough that she can’t hear the humming but i can.. god damn it! he is back to humming and singing to the music now again as i’m typing this… haha.. i guess i’m a little use to it.. it make the different considering all i hear is keyboard typing.. ping ping.. tap tap…

i almost forget.. Happy 2 yr working here to myself.. here to my dead end career!!!!!!

PERFECT Facebook profile picture

Don’t you love it back in the day where facebook doesn’t exist?  After you went through the breakup and u never see each other again it helps heal ur heart quickly… now these day with facebook for some reason u ended up typing his name over and over again just to see his profile pictures again… i don’t know about u but that’s what i ended up doing… I’m always curious if he changed his profile picture or not.. i want to know what he had been up to even though his page is set to privacy but i can still click-through profile pictures so that’s what i had been doing lately.. i can’t seem to stop doing that i hope i’m not alone out there who do this… for some odd reason i like it better if he didn’t changed his profile pictures so many times with different background… it only mean one thing if he changed his pic…he is having fun & i’m not having fun considering i have the same profile picture since 2009..  talk about depressing.. yes i had been out numerous times but i’m not photogenic & even if the pictures came out great i’m hesitating to use it as profile picture.. the reason?  well i’m hoping deep down if he will be doing the same thing as me.. i want stunning wow picture of me up on facebook.. if he happens to look my name up i want him to see she looks great & miss me a little bit.. is that too much to ask?

so this past few weekends i took some pictures when i was out.. i didn’t have time to upload them to my laptop at all till yesterday night.. i finally uploaded them cuz i’m searching for my awesome good-looking picture of me.. the picture where it doesn’t show i’m tired & exhausted from work.. the picture that doesn’t show i had given up on finding the perfect job.. the picture where it doesn’t show i finally have white hairs at such a young age & trying so hard to find a way to hide them.. yes u heard me.. i went looking & digging through the pictures i uploaded them cuz i saw him put up new profile picture.. yea before i went to sleep last night i was on facebook.. i’m desperate need of sleep but without even looking at the keyboard i typed his name.. There i saw his new profile picture… he is looking sharp in the picture.. the moment i saw the picture i felt really jealous.. jealous that he is looking great & doing great and i’m on the other hand opposite of that.. people say picture can say a thousand words… if that is true then his life must be fabulous.. after seeing his face i missed him.. i missed the guy who treated me badly.. after that moment was passed my eyes was sudden caught the long layer hair next to him.. it was obvious he cut off someone who was next to him.. it was a girl’s hair.. my mind was racing back and forth who could it be.. is he dating that girl?  i know even in the past he doesn’t use his picture with his serious ex gfs as his profile pic.. i did find my perfect pic to put on fb.. the pic where my hair was blowing nicely cuz of wind with sunglasses on.. but i decided not to use it.. i’m loving how the picture came out but i’m not loving the fact that i’m losing weight in the pic..

i couldn’t sleep but when i finally sleep i think i had a dream.. i remember waking up this morning and know i had a dream.. i don’t remember all the details of the dream but for some odd reason i dream about one of his ex gf.. talk about not being over on the picture.. so what did i do before i brush my teeth this morning? i logged into facebook again & typed in his name to look at his pic one more time.. there i saw someone comment on the pic.. it was none other than the girl that he had cut off from his pic.. how did i know? well she comment it “the picture would have been nicer if u haven’t cut someone off”  she commented something along that line.. then i click on her profile pictures.. she got privacy on her fb but not on the profile pictures.. so i went through all the profile pictures.. decent looking girl seem like adventurous saw alot of fun pictures.. i finally snapped out of it & got ready for work…i still can’t stop thinking about it.. i know my hands will be typing his name again when i logged back into fb tonight..good things i can’t log into fb at work..

i don’t understand myself.. am i mad that he is with someone or am i mad that he is having fun????  i think a little bit of both.. what u don’t know doesn’t hurt u right?  but once u do know it hurt like hell… i’m pissed that i’m going through hard time not just about him but in life in general but he is having too much fun.. i’m wishing & hoping he is not having fun and miss me.. is that too much to ask? u tell me….