Archive for June, 2010

=(

i was supposed to have my job interview today but it got cancel.. yesterday i got a call from the assistant saying they’re already filled the position internally.. i don’t need to come in for interview.. arrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!  so unprofessional.. i got a call early in the morning the day before i’m supposed to go in for an interview.. if you already know u r not going to hire me shouldn’t u call me way ahead.. so i don’t spend all my weekends preparing for the interview.. interview is out… i wanted to yell at the assistant but i didn’t.. it wasn’t her decision.. no point in yelling at her… so frustating!

more or less?

this weekend i was reading a book & the character in the book mentioned how she loves her husband more than he loves her.. every time they have the discussion about this even though she knew he loves her but somehow she felt she always is the one who love him more… well when they’re going through the divorce she was hurt… she was hurt more than he did because she loves him more.. in every relationship there’s going to be always* someone who loves the other one more… in this situation she wrote she was the one so while they’re going through the divorce she was a mess..

in a way it’s true.. there’re people who may or may not agree with this… every relationship either a guy or a girl loves the other person more… u can’t say it’s equal… there’s no way to measure this… it’s suck to be the one who loves more.. u ended up hurting, worrying more… i think it’s better to be the one who loves less… that way u don’t end up hurting… even though i’m writing this i never was the one who loves less.. i was always the one who loves more…

i saw this kmovie yesterday where the main character a girl got married to this guy who loves her so much… u can tell from day 1 he was in love w/her more than she is.. fast forward they got married & she falls in love w/another guy… she told him.. he was devastated & he loves her so much he was ok w/the affair.. BUT she said it’s not an affair.. she actually loves him as much as she loves her husband (him)… she wants to get marry to the other guy.. the other guy wasn’t even into the ideas of getting marry she was the one who asking him to marry her.. the husband was even more devastated when she mentioned the husband was the one who let her see how good the marriage is.. ouch!

so he loves her so much to the fact he lets her marry to another guy… another guy married her even though he wasn’t keen on the ideas of marriage cuz he loves her so much.. in this situation you can clearly see who loves who more.. when you loves someone so much you would never do that kind of stunt.. back to the movie… he grew jealous when she got pregnant.. she said it’s the husband’s baby.. but there’s no way of knowing.. the husband wants the baby so bad to be his…  get this the husband family & the other guy family had no clues about any of this.. when the baby was born the husband went to go see the baby.. the other guy was there too… he was the narrator in the movie… he said he is jealous he doesn’t want to share this moment.. it’s true it’s not one of those moment you want to share other than your family.. well what is more sad is when the next day he went to go see the baby in the hospital again.. that time the other guy’s family came to see the baby.. he ended up having to introduce himself as the woman’s cousin… ='( so sad.. what even more sad is that when the other guy’s mom said the baby girl look just like her son when he was young..

he was trying to get the baby’s hair after that incident so he can test to see if the baby was his.. the wife found out she was upset… geez woman! i don’t understand this @ all… he have the right to know… don’t you think?  well he was trying to stopped her from leaving since she was upset about this.. she slipped while holding the baby & he was trying to save both of them.. instead of her getting hurt, he ended up getting hurt & ended up in the hospital.. so while the husband #1 was in the hospital.. the husband #2 come to the husband #1 house to take care of the baby.. reason? cuz the other house got cats since baby was so young she don’t want the baby to be near the cats.. husband #1 was upset but there’s nothing he can do.. he got cast on his legs & can barely walk…

fast forward the baby is going to turn to 1 yr old i can’t remember… but they’re going to have the bday celebration.. i forgot to mentioned the wife name the baby after the husband #1 favorite soccer player.. he was excited & happy but he was doubting the other guy likes soccer too.. her reason she loves soccer & both the husbands love soccer.. but the other guy doesn’t have favorite player.. that’s why… days before the baby bday celebration husband #1 coworkers found out all about this.. apparently  there was an article in the magazine & it got pics of the wife & husband #2 & the baby.. it was written about them… the coworkers felt sorry for him not knowing the husband already knew about this.. he was angry that there was an article.. so he went out to get the divorce paper done (that was the second time he go get the divorce paper) he went out the 1st time after she told him she wants to marry the other guy.. but he ended up ripping the paper in front of her since he knows he love her so much he rather have her marry another guy & still come see him…

well husband #1 got a chance to celebrate the baby’s bday 1st afterward he had to drive her & baby to husband #2… when husband #2’s family was celebrating the bday he came in & then the wife was surprise… right then the baby girl called husband #1 “daddy” =(  he said “yea i’m ur dad”  everyone was surprise..  he gave her the divorce paper… then he turned around to say to everyone that she is his wife & that’s his baby.. the wife got mad & walked out w/the baby.. he followed her but she left..he felt so lonely w/out her.. the other guy was too.. husband #2 explains to her she got no ideas about the article @ first since it was his cousin who wrote it.. he knew the baby wasn’t his since beginning cuz they use birth control… it was all her ideas.. he wanted to name the baby something else but she insisted on that name for her.. husband #1 was surprise…i’m thinking could all this mean she loves him more than the other guy?  that’s the only explanation.. but why on earth would she do this to him from the beginning.. throughout the whole movie u can see every time she left the house because when they were dating she come home late at night & they argued she left but he was the one who ended up calling her.. she never did..even when the husband doesn’t agree to her about getting marry to another guy she left the house when he asked her to choose…he was the one who ended up going after her & taking her back…u can’t help who u fall in love w/but it’s cruel to do that to both of the guys.. well husband #1 came to accept #2 & later the wife sent both of them the tickets to come see the soccer game w/the baby.. they both went & see the game w/her.. that was the end…

wow! u don’t see that kind of movie.. i know i’m typing a lot.. but most of the time u see where the guy was the one who is doing it.. not the girl… the movie shows how one person would go extra length to be w/someone who he loves dearly & accept all her flaws.. i’m sure there’s some women out there who knew about the husband’s affair & still accept him… they don’t want to let go of the husbands.. they love him so much.. sad but true… i would never accept that kind of behavior.. i would never do that either… obviously both husband loves the woman so much to the point they had to accept the other husband.. only toward the end of the movie when husband #2 explaining i realized maybe deep down she do love the husband #1 a little more.. or could it be bc she married the husband #1 first that she wants to have the baby w/him 1st?  well i guess we’ll never know…she seems to treat both of them equally… i never see husband #2 side of the story…husband #1 was explaining how he was feeling & what he is going through… feel bad for the baby most.. if this was the real in life can u imagine when the baby go to school what is her school mate is going to say?  what is the neighbors are going to say?

Sorry about long post but some cases like this it’s always better to be the one who loves less so u don’t end up hurting @ the end…

Final Decision!

awww today is so nice outside.. i wish i’m not stuck at the office..  i just looked at the temperature it’s 89 degrees..  those days are hard to come by i want to enjoy them as much as i could… after work i’m heading out to zumba class.. i haven’t been to the class for a while.. if you haven’t been to the class you should try it.. i’m sweating like a pig but it’s so worth it.. depend on who is teaching as well but tonight the instructor is awesome.. i’m not sure where she gets her music but i just want to get up & start dancing.. i used to love it even more now i see alot of HS kids come & started taking the class.. i’m not old but still i felt like i’m not at the HS age where i need to giggles every time she shows a new move.. but i love it so much i don’t care…

i’m nervous.. Tuesday is a big day!  my job interview day.. i really want the job… am i excited about what i’m going to be doing?  so so but i love i’m finally going to have benfit, pay vacation days, sick days, holiday pays.. i really hope i get the job..  here is another problem… i already booked my trip to Asia.. i already paid & almost start packing now.. if i get the job i’m not sure they’ll give me the time off in August to go there..it’s almost the end of June.. by the time they response back to me it’ll be in Mid July.. i’m leaving for Asia in mid-August.. yikes!  i called to see how much difference i have to pay if i’m going to move the travel date… over $500 that’s way too much.. i could spend that $ on another destination near where i live… but again the original ticket price is not cheap either…  i’m worry!  i need a vacation.. i need a break between leaving this job & starting a new job.. i don’t want to be leaving here Friday & Monday morning i’m starting a new job.. i do know for a fact if i get the job they’re not going to say you can start in September.. bad timing…

The funny things is it happen twice already in the past.. after i finished my degree i was a little bit picky at the beginning as to where i want to work.. i let go of some of the offer & waiting for the right one (the fun job) but it never came… so when one of my friend asked me “let’s go somewhere” i figure why not.. i booked the trip & not long after that i got this job.. so i worked for about 2 wks & went on vacation for 1 wk.. haha.. they did let me go on my vacation since it’s already paid.. mainly the reason is i don’t get paid for day offs… another time was last year.. i booked the trip & everything was all set.. about 3 weeks before i’m about to leave.. i got a call for job interview.. it was intense.. they asked me if i’m traveling since it was in summer time.. i said “yes, but we can come to some sort of arrangement”  i could lies but i don’t want to lies.. they seem ok w/it since i was the very 1st one they interview.. they got other candidate to interviews as well..i was nervous from beginning to end of my trip.. did i get the job?  did i not get the job?  i was in different continent for god sake there’s no way i could check my phone… finally when i got a chance to log in to my email i saw HR lady sent me an email saying they’re still considering me as a candidate.. i replied & thanks her.. but i never heard from them.. disappointed but i was never thrill about the job to begin with.. so i don’t mind…

i’m starting to believe if i want a new job, i need to book myself a trip to somewhere.. this is the only time i’ll get a job.. i’ll take the job if i get it & kiss goodbye to my trip to Asia if they don’t let me go.. WISH ME LUCK FOR TUESDAY PLS! =)

Blind Date

everyone say you aren’t going to find anyone when you’re looking.. you’ll find someone when you’re not expected… is it true?  what about blind date?  This past weekend one of my relatives (whom by the way barely talk to me) said to me  “so i have a friend who asked me to find a girl for her son, u want to go out w/him?”  she wants me to go out to movie or dinner & see how things take… nice intentions but the only problem i’m having is why is she not hooking up her own daughter who is single w/him.. that was one of the many 1st things came to my mind.. what is wrong w/him?  is he not good enough for her own daughter?  what is that makes me considering at such a young age i need help w/dates?  in the end i switched the topic so she never came back & asked me for my email address or any ways he can contact me.. i felt weird!  i always felt weird when someone who barely know me trying to hook me up.. i felt like they don’t know me well enough to know my type..

I know a number people i felt comfortable telling about my relationship…good & bad but there’re people who i would not even say a word even when i’m going out w/somone.. is that because i know one person less than another.. it’s not true for me.. it’s about how well i trust them… if i felt  like the person i’m telling about my relationship will tell other people  (we both know but i prefer they don’t know about it) i wouldn’t say a word…

I don’t have twitter.. i do have fb but  i’m not the one who update her fb status to tell people i’m here or there.. this blog is my therapy in a way where i can vent about every little things that is going on my life… =) people might came across & read the posts i wrote but they don’t know me.. they may or may not agree with what i wrote but there’s always something you can learn from one another aka my terrible love life..

even w/that being said here’s my favorite quotes from Buddha…

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment”

Not an other one!

Yes!  it’s another post about relationship.. yesterday i was watching show on tv & the girl briely said “it’s weird he’s not in any relationship for the whole year”  is it really weird?  does that mean something wrong with that person?  for god sake i haven’t been in relationship for a long time… does that mean something wrong w/me?  am i too picky?  that’s one of my friends said… my standard is high.. i know myself my standard is not that high.. deep down i’m afraid of getting hurt..

when you got hurt in the past you double (triple) think before you go out w/someone… if i don’t feel the SPARK when i first met the guy i rule him out… in the past i just know…. if he is rude to me or say something offensive not long after he met me i rule him out- yes it did happen… i met someone who seem like he likes me & i overheard one of his friends telling another friend that guy likes me.. but he was rude to me… plain & simple—-it would never work… you treat the person you like the BEST.. i’m sure there’re guys out there who act like a jerk to someone they like but it never go well w/me if the guy is acting like a jerk…  i don’t go out with anyone if i feel like the guy is just looking for a fling…  am i picky?  picky seem abit harsh more like selective is a good choice of word… if i list every single guys who asked me out & what they say afterward you would say your standard is not high enough… lol…

Phone call

i feel the need to write another post considering my last post was depressing.. last friday i got a call while i was out w/mom to get some stuff done for her.. guess what the phone is about?  JOB INTERVIEW!!!!!!  yes finally… it’s about time.. people kept telling me considering this economy you should consider yourself lucky u have a job.. yes i know but there’s a different between having a job & hating it.. you literally drag yourself out of bed every morning is not a good way to start your day.. now my alarm rang at 6, 6:15, 6:30, 6:45, 7, 7:15.. yep no jokes… i kept setting my alarm to be 15 minutes apart so i can go back in & get that 15 minutes shut eyes… awww life!!! no wonder my hair is turning white each days in my 20…

Interview is set for next week.. for some reason i kept thinking it’s tomorrow… good things i reread the confirmation email again.. (those of you who may be reading this — ALWAYS ALWAYS double check date/time for your interview or other important days in your life) i called again to confirm yep it’s next week.. i can’t wait! i’m so ready.. i’m ready to wow them… wish me luck plsssss!!!!! for mysake… i don’t want any more white hairs… =)

HAPPY THOUGHTS FOR ME FROM NOW ON!

=)

White Hairsss =/ yikes

this past weekend was beautiful… sunny & warm.. a bit humid but that’s ok since the weather haven’t been good lately… i went out did some stuff i had been meaning to do… i got a chance to cross a lot of things off my to do list… afterwards, i figure i should go visit my aunt’s house..  well i’m not sure if it’s a good things or a bad things i went to her house… one of the family members saw a white hair on me.. i was screaming… take it off!!!!!!!! well she did… then she moved some of the hair & brush it for me… WHITE HAIRSSSSSS!!!! she saw them.. i couldn’t even believe myself… how come i never noticed them?  is that all because of stress?  or gentic?  people might say it’s gentic… i know myself more than anyone.. it’s definitely STRESS.. STRESS FROM WORK, LIFE, LOVE, ETC is getting to me… i didn’t bother counting them but they’re white all right.. the whole strand- not partial… yikes!!!! i’m not sure because of that my stress level went up through the roof…

i’m only in my early twenty & i already have white hairs… AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!