Archive for May, 2010

Writing Help

It help to write this blog instead of screaming now i’m writing…i just want to write everything that i’m feeling & thinking… life… i can’t seem to have peace & quiet… am i destiny to have happiness @ all?  everytime i m happy or excited there’s always seem like something bad is going to happen.. like now it’s not like i’m extremely happy but i was in much worse situation… now because of what happen over the weekend i’m feeling down..  i always happy when i meet new people..

Goal:  To meet new people so i can forget about the old one…

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Heartbroken

i’m at work right now..i can’t seem to do my work…i kept thinking about someone…i feel mad, sad, & CRYING… i’m trying so hard to hold my tears….

it all started last year…i thought i got over it as time goes by…to tell u the truth i don’t think i fully recover…long story short i heard about him this weekend from someone who he “hanging out” with..i was surprise…ok i wasn’t surprise but i was surprise she was telling me…i wasn’t her friend to begin with but lately she seem to contact me & want to hang out…she become a bit curious about my life & my relationship… the funny thing is i met her awhile ago…she never seem like she want to talk to me but now she want to… i know for myself i be alittle curious about someone from his past… my problem is i don’t know if she know what happen or not… my heart is telling me “YES” but my problem is i don’t know…i don’t feel like reaching out to him & ask… there’s no reason to contact w/him… what i don’t get is all of the sudden she telling me all of this considering we r not friends… it still hurt to hear about him.. some of the stuff he told me turned out to be lies…it hurt even more.. i didn’t questions or asked more details about their situation.. i tried to cut the conversation off… i don’t want to be so obvious so i asked what i feel the need to ask & done w/it…

But i’m hurting!!!!!!!  did he care?  no… i hate myself for knowing it still affecting me…  i don’t like to talk about my love life to my close friends… i just want to get through it myself… but there’s someone i always talk about my relationship with but she & i had conversation about my love life & her love life already( recently)… now i feel like i need to have another conversation… i know her answer… just don’t think about it…just say “Yes” to more guys…the more u hang out with different guys & meet new people u’ll eventually forget about him…

there’s nothing i could do.. i feel LOST…  i just feel like being in my room & cry my eyeballs out.. i done it already this weekend.. by simply watching sad movie & listening to sad music…