Archive for April, 2010


i love today…i somehow feel pretty.. i woke up early do my usual routine (shower) & on top of that i actually woke up early enough to eat breakfast…i can’t remember the last time i ate breakfast @ home…

after lunch i was trying to get some more water from the breakroom, i ran into the lady that work in the different dept..i usually gave her compliment everytime i see her…the reason for that is she always wear something that i think look really good…anyways…she gave me compliment about my heels i was wearing today (which by the way the same one i been wearing every day since i bought the heel)…she had given compliment on that heel but hey whatever i’ll take it…after exchanging how cute i think her heel are she asked u look nice, what do u use for ur face?  i told her just regular Neutrogena product…she then asked r u in love?  haha…i guess i look extra good today.. =)  i told her no i’m happy being single…the truth is i’m happy…i don’t have a bf & i’m not going where i want to be for career wise…but i’m still’s just one of those days…she also mentioned how good my hair look today… strange cuz it’s same as always…no changing style except i actually took my time this morning to brush my hair w/a comb (not w/my fingers)..

so to summarize all this… do ppl glow when they r in love?  i tend to break out when i’m seeing someone…i think i always feel the pressure to look good & it’s somehow stress me out…everytime i’m about to go see or know someone i have a crush is coming to a party i break out.. on the other hand someone i know who like me but i don’t feel the same way about that person, the day i’m suppose to see them my face is clear & w/out trying anything i look GREAT!  lol..


Everything work out at the end!

no matter how much i complained about things doesn’t go according to my plans @ the end it always work out by itself.   I just need to be remembered to be patient.

Things are not going accordingly to plan right now.  I’m alittle sad about this..That’s the reason why i chose to write this topic today.  Life would not be interesting if things just go from A to B.. what if instead of getting to B you ended up in C 1st then back to B. is that so bad?  No. i need to remember that…you learned from ur mistakes & try to focus to achieve your goals..

If you asked me right now what do i want to do w/my life, i would answer i’m a little lost… am i lost?  sometimes i think i’m lost  other time i think i’m just not trying hard enough..But i don’t want to tell people the whole story…i do know what i want w/my life.. i want to get out of here & work abroad…what i really want to do is study abroad but given my finacial situation i can’t.. so i figure i work abroad..but here is the catch..where?  Thinking i really want to go work in SF or SD or SG or Aussie… where do i begin?  i got no clues considering i never been to any of the places i want to work things will be tough…another problems is my family need me to support them… i do feel bad for my mom but there’s a time in life where i just want to tell them off… pls try & find $ for urself & let me live my life…but i don’t have the heart to do that… i know if i don’t get out of here to find myself i would regret this the rest of my life..

So before i figure out all the working abroad…here’s a list of things i want to get done…

1) practice driving more

2) try to visit the places i want to work

3) try & make friends from that area who can help me out down the road

4) save up more $ so i can travel

5) look for more jobs meanwhile

well…starting today i’m doing that…today i applied jobs at least 2…that’s what i’m planning to do..try to applied at least 2 or 3 jobs a day…wish me luck! =)


I often thought once I come to US my life would be easier.  I would figure out everything once I got here… well here i’m after finishing my undergrad & working for almost 2 yrs i still can’t figure out what i want w/my life… is that normal?  some people already know what kind of careers they want when they’re in college & other find out what they want to do w/their life while working…HERE I’M! i can’t figure out while i was in college.. well one of the reasons i like to think i couldn’t figure out was there were so many problems going on w/my life (bad) that i just want to live day to day & not think ahead…i don’t want to think about a yr or two from now on to see what is going to happen…i just want the day to be over..

well…now i’m officially facing reality & so far i’m hating it… i didn’t take the job offers i got when i was in school or when i was out of school.. i was trying to find the “perfect” job that will guide me through the right path.. but guess what? @ the end i ended up taking the job i know full well  i’m going to hate cuz my student loans payment are finally coming in…

what’s next?  i want to travel to another country or state to find a job.. i’m hoping maybe then when i’m away from everyone i know i can finally focus on myself & figure out what i want to do.. unfortunately, that was my plan last yr & this yr something unexpected happen (that’s my life, nothing ever go according to plans) that my dream is officially SHATTER =*(

LIFE IS UNFAIR!  WHY???????  but one thing i’m proud of myself is i come so far… i m @ the point even though it’s not where i want to be but i could never imagine myself being here either when i was young…i should count my blessing…  i finally accept who i’m and i wouldn’t trade my life with anyone (ok i lie maybe some celebrity).. but truth to be told if i didn’t go through hard time in life i would never appreciate what i have now….. =)

Lists of thing I "learned"

i just recently read this blog about how she wished she know about dating life 10 yrs ago…she made a list.. i thought i make a list as well about the mistakes I learned from so called guys that said they liked me…here goes in random order…

1) Have more confidence in yourself.  Most of the time I find myself in a situation where in my heart i’m having doubt whether if the so called relationship will continue or not  but afraid what if i won’t find another guy that will like me.  The answer is there r so many fishes in the sea…another will come ur way.  I read in a web once “don’t try to catch a running train, another one is on its way”  i love the phrase they used… so true!

2)  If he say one day in a life & death situation, he’ll save his ex over u please please take that as a hint & walk away immediately…  lesson learned for me!

3)  After certain amount of time u spent going out dinners w/him & he’s still telling u i still don’t consider u as my gf then u should know already.  It never going to happen.

4)  Moving on is hard but go out & have fun…meeting new people is always fun… it gives u a chance to meet ur potential plus make some new friends along the way.

5) You know u r truthly OVER  someone is when u see he is talking with some good looking girls & u could not careless.  You don’t find urself looking @ his direction to see if he is talking to a girl or a guy.  Then you know.  It’s hard to get to that stage believe me but you’ll get there.

so far that’s all i had learned…will keeep u updated as i go..

i can't stop thinking….

i can’t stop thinking…trying to forget about someone is hard…i usually end up hating the person even though part of me is always curious who is he with?  does it mean i still care? do i want to be w/him?  the answer is no.. once it’s go sour i don’t want to see or hear again about this person… but it’s always hard when u know he is move on so fast & u r still stuck & can’t believe the whole thing had happen to u once again… life what u gonna do? the worst part is u r afraid to take a chance again… looking for sign?


I personally hate it when so called friend ignored u but when they know u got something going on that day, they will send u msg saying what u doing?  want to hang out?  the answer would be “No” then their question would be so what u doing?  well i will tell u what i’m doing but u r definitely not invited.

ok i’m being alittle mean about this but believe me if u r me u would do the same thing.. enough about this.. this year my goal is to stop hanging out with people i can’t depend on when i need them the most… who need to spend time with someone when it really come down to it they r not ur real friend… they only use u to get something…but at the same time i do know my real friends that i can depend on… u have to know bad friends in order to know ur good ones… right?

Sympathy Card

u want to know how i started my week last week?  By signing Sympathy Card… Last Monday i came into office, someone said do u mind signing sympathy card for so & so…i said sure…Then come Tuesday, another email saying this person in the office relative pass away please sign the card…again sure… well today…just now another person in the office relative pass away… i just sign another sympathy card…i’m not joking but this is the only job where i  can’t even count how many sympathy cards i already had sign…

I’m glad i’m not the one who is receiving the card… i guess in a way it’s better it’s u than me… but seriously it’s kinda of depressing… the job itself is not even interesting… top that off with this… i need to get myself a new JOB!