how long is too long?

Happy New Year!

yes i know…. it’s already into February…. it had been too long since i write anything partly because work had been hectic and i can’t seem to get into the site from work to write…..

let’s get to the topic of the day….. how long is too long?  yes…. let’s back up on the story… it had been going on for about over a month or two…. so there is this guy who said yea i like you…. i want to go out w/u….. then NEVER make an attempt to set a date or time to go out with me…. so let me ask u this question…. how long do you wait around for the guy to finally say let’s go out on X day?

once i got the message on Friday night was “what are you up to for the weekends?”  well my response “nothing much”  i left room for him to say yea lets go do this or that…. even cheap dinner would have been fine with me…. but you want to know what the response i got?  “yea so i’m doing this(…) on Saturday and on Sunday (…..) this….”  well all i can say was have fun….  but what i don’t understand and more confuse is i’m still getting i know i like you, etc… messages….

what even worse was i got another message the other day saying ” anything interesting going on tonight”  my response again was ” nothing much, just got some stuff done” then i got message with “well have a good night”

i simply don’t get this…. why do you need to know what i’m doing for the weekends or for the night if you have plans yourself already and have no plan on going out?  what i don’t get most is why am i still getting messages with i do have feeling for you….. yes that is why my post for today is how long is too long to wait for the guy?  well valentine day is just around the corner…. it’s not something that was going on for a week or two…. it is over a month…. my limit well if he doesn’t say anything by coming up weekends to go out then i’m out….  sometimes i don’t even get myself…. do i like him?  50/50….. he is definitely not someone who i would write off from the start and he does grow on me…. that is why i said 50/50….. he is definitely someone i would like to know more and see what happens next….

i love how my love life is beginning in 2011…. i hope your love life is going better than mine though….

 

Almost Over….

Aside from the other post i can’t believe this year is almost over…. i don’t know where i’ll be in 2 yrs from now on but i did accomplished so many tasks this year alone i couldn’t be prouder…. i do want to write about little bit of update on everything aka the guy i had been writing about, the job, the life…. i know i said i’m not going to write about him anymore but i think before the year end i should one last time….

i hope this year had been good to you guys…. would love to hear about your accomplishments and your goals…..

Life Passed By…..

i love writing here but unfortunately i can’t get into this site from my work…. so many topics the top of my head i want to write about but by the time i got home i can’t remember them at all…. i missed out on the weather, news….  i have no ideas what is going on with the world…. i can’t even see the window for crying out loud…. there could be rain, snow, sun outside and i wouldn’t have a clue….. time just passed by while i stared at my work computer screen…. can we have both have a little bit of life reading news or checking what is the weather will be like tomorrow while making sure all the work got done in time….. is that possible?  well unfortunately, the answer is no….. i’m so busy to the fact i should be glad it’s not time for me to stay more than 8 hrs a day…. what happen when the time come when i have to stay more than 8 hrs & not get pay for it…. will i be ok with it?  is that come with going up the ladder at the work place?  is that part of sacrificed?

i can’t even tell myself if i’m going up the ladder or not…. but in the long hull i’m not sure i like being stuck in the cubicle that is tall that i can’t even see a single person that passed by my desk…. without windows to look at outside or have time to check out the weather is that worth it….. yes i’m glad i’m doing a bit of challenging job but at the same time i can’t tell if that is what i want in the long run…. how does one know THIS is the company they want to retired?  how do they know if that is the career they want to be in?

what would you do?

what would you do IF….

-your current job is better than your last job but u know this is not the company you want to retired?

-you have coworker who ALWAYS say negative things about other coworkers & tell you not talk to them but very friendly toward them herself?

-you have coworker(the same one) who you know you can’t avoid talking to but felt like everything you said will get twisted and said back to the other coworkers & managers?

-you have to work overtime with NO PAID?

-you felt trap in the tall cubicle?

-you don’t hate your job yet but you felt like mentally tired because of your responsibility?

-you have no time to write your random thought on wordpress?

-you felt like some people in life seem like they’re nice but deep down you know in your heart they’re sabotaging you?

 

LIFE IS A BITCH isn’t it?

Where am I?

It had been so long since I actually write about my life. I can’t get into this site from my job. Yes I know. I m surprise myself it is happening as well. From day one i can’t get into the site. I miss writing. I miss discovering someone else blog. How can they be blocking sites? I can’t even read my daily news. Yes my favorite news site are not displaying correctly. None of the site are blocked as in you can’t type the site name. The format and font even picture are not displaying correctly. It mean goodbye news, goodbye writing. I read an article once & actually I think several people had pointed out to me that people are more productive if they have break between their work. That is one thing I miss about my old job. Not only I was working but I also discover alot about myself. Somehow i felt like I don’t know myself anymore. I can’t see the window, the cubicle are high = I m not going to know anyone here. Is this what I want in life? No window to look at. No news from outside world to read. My phone internet can only take me alittle. Not fast enough to know what is going on. The small screen can only provide limited information.

We all have to start our career somewhere right?

The right decision….

Today I finally realized I did make the right decision by quitting….. there is so much details involved but believe me people are leaving left and right here(not because they wanted to–i don’t know the whole details)….  In a way i think eventually I would have been let go instead I took a chance & said I’m quitting….

Believe me when I said it i felt like my voice was shaking…. i know myself…. the tone was my voice was nervous and still doubting myself did i make a right decision… Now I know…. I did make a right decision… I’m not sure it’s just me but I just read an article when is the time to let go of your job…. such a perfect timing to read the article…. either way…. last day…. Aidos!

Excited, Nervous, Scared—-that’s all i’m feeling right now but in a good way…. =)  Have a great weekends…..

Mid-week

it’s half way through the week already….. i felt like time is going fast and there is nothing i can do to stop the time even for a second…. i might as well stop & smell the roses along the way and enjoy my life…..  i must admit for this time of the year the weather is good compare to other years…. this is just random post but i do want to thanks to some of you who left comments…. i did get a chance to read them all…. i still haven’t had a chance to browse myself with different feature on word press…. i haven’t had a chance to read most people post on the site either except the one that are freshly pressed….  if there is specific topic u guys are more interested in i’ll be more than happy to write about it….

i seem to be writing about relationship topic lately…. my daily new post is based on what happen the day i’m writing or the day before…. so it’s random…. this is more like my own diary….. have u guys ever save term paper or essay from Middle School, High School or even College?  i do save some random paper & every time i looked back i love how my handwriting have change over the years…. i love to read what i wrote & laughed/learned at my own mistakes i made on the paper….i do hope one day i read back all those posts i wrote and all the heartache trouble i was feeling & be able to laugh about it….

on a separate note—- i do miss traveling…. since my brand new job =) will be starting next week i’m not going to have time to travel much till next year…. but it seem like it’s for the best considering i’m broke…. i might as well save some cash for myself for the holiday….. i’m counting down the time to leave work…. have a fabulous day!

Priority vs. Option

I read someone quote the other day & i couldn’t better say so myself….

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

it’s a good quote…. most of the time we might not realized we are their option or we might not want to admit we are the option for them….. perfect example would be the last post i wrote…. i don’t want a guy with a gf trying to stay in touch with me…. am i his option?  probably….. i don’t mean a guy with a gf can’t talk to me…. yes he can talk to me in public not message me afterward and asking how is my life?  to me that is shady…. why don’t u ask when i see u in public how is my life?  not asking questions & messaging me afterwards to me is a bit shady…. i’m sure he got better explanation…. i’m with my gf & i don’t want her to get the wrong ideas…. could it be that?  probably…. if that is the case then there is no need to send me message right?

the better scenario for the quote would be the man with a wife w/out his wedding ring (i mentioned in the last post)….. i personally think the wife is his priority (at least i hope so) all the other girls he was chatting with are his option…. would u want to be the girl (even if u r a guy reading this) do u want to be the person allowing yourself to be their option?  i know i don’t…. nobody deserves to be second…. nobody deserves to be a backup person just in case if there is small chance if their relationship with someone else didn’t work out….

what about priority people?  would you like it if the person you’re seeing already have someone on their mind?  backup option person?  i know i wouldn’t like it…. is that mean the person i’m seeing doesn’t like me fully?  probably whether they like to admit it or not…. there is no need to have the option or backup person u r secretly chatting with….. committed to the person you’re seeing and see where the relationship would take u…. if u r spending time or getting to know the option person than u r taking away ur time you could be spending with your priority person….

i could feel for both side….. i had been on both side….. u might think it’s better to be the priority person…. no it’s not true…. u r hurt as much as being the option person…. if there is a third option…. i would choose to be neither…. i had seen people with bf or gf who are fully committed to the person they are seeing… they would just greet and say hello to the opposite sex but never allowing themselves to lead them on…. unfortunately none of them was the person i was dating… i always end up seeing someone who want to have backup person or someone who like me but i’m their backup person….  some have luck in love & other don’t….. i have to say the past 2 yrs have shown me i’m the one without luck when it come to love…. hopefully it’ll change….

emotionally

Last week i ran into someone i haven’t seen for a while….   greeting was in order so we greeted…. long story short he had mentioned he liked me in the past but i heard from his friend afterward he is officially seeing someone…. i don’t think he was seeing anyone when he told me but there was about 2-3 months afterward one of his friend mentioned it….. anyways…. when i ran into him i think one of the girls is his gf but neither his friends nor he mentioned anything or introduce me to the girl…. He seem friendly toward me but after talking briefly he went quickly and stand next to the girl…. quickly as in quickly switching over to her side & i saw that he giving her signal to leave the crowd with him…. ok maybe he doesn’t want to talk….  but i thought it was a bit rude…. i didn’t really care for it since i don’t know him very well to begin with…. i do hate ran into people where i don’t know them well but know them enough that have to exchange “hello and bye.”

back to the story…. so after he moved quickly next to her  i sort of have this feeling maybe this is the girl he is seeing…. anyways after greeting i left since i got this unwanted vibe…. i went back to the crowd i was with and i went back home shortly after that…. when i got back home then i realized he had sent me msg…. nice seeing u etc…. i was surprised by it…. he seems like he wanted to talk when i saw him cuz he was the one give me signal to come and talk….. after going back and forth on no u come instead i decided i might as well go over there since i didn’t want people to get the wrong ideas….. we talked about less than 1 min then he moved over to her side…. i was a bit surprised by it…. i thought perhaps he wanted to introduced me to her but that wasn’t it….

back to the msg….i just mentioned back to him there was no need to msg me which i think in my opinion it’s true…. why do u need to msg someone who u don’t know very well?  plus when u see that person u don’t talk much to them….. in my opinion there was no reason to…. if i happen to see him again because of the little stunt he pulled i might just smile from afar instead from now on… there was no need to go over & made small talk if i see him in the future…. right?  there is a huge chance he might do the same (i don’t know if the girl thought i was the one who wanted to talk to him badly or something…. i wouldn’t want to get her feeling hurt)…. i wouldn’t send any msg to someone i don’t know well and not talk when u actually see them in person then said let’s catch up more when i see u next time in msg…. ummmm i don’t get it… i do feel like i’m writing in circle… i do apologize for that….

i did mentioned to him why he do that?  there was just casual response back but nothing mentioned why or the reason he sending me msg which i had asked…. i’m more curious why he emailing me?  would u do that?  i know i wouldn’t…..does he only want me to come over and talk to made his gf jealous?  i wasn’t flirting with him….. does he only want me to come over for his own ego?  see girls still come and talk to me…. if that is the case i’m hurt…. if u read my other post i had written numerous time if i don’t like someone i wouldn’t lead them on…. i don’t like someone who have gf cheating on them emotionally either…. i do got a vibe he wanted to talk but at the same time he wasn’t talking much…. i don’t know i’m confused…. in the past way before all this there was  bit of argument between him and I  at the end i mentioned to him don’t send me msg… so he know enough to not msg me….

i titled the post “emotionally” because of this reason…. let’s say he was trying just to be friendly…. i don’t want his gf to get the wrong ideas considering she was standing there & we never got introduced…. he had like me at one point & i don’t know if he still does or doesn’t…. that is his business…. i wouldn’t want my significant other to keep in contact with someone whom they had previously had feeling for…. it could be just minor crush but still i wouldn’t want them cheat on me emotionally….. what if the feeling come back after going back and forth on the msg…. if he wants to be friend he would had introduce me to the girl….

there was another story i remember about emotionally cheating or wanted to cheat emotionally story (not him) though….my friend and I have this mutual friend & one day he bring his coworker along with him… we saw him & had a chat that was it…. remember the place we all met up was in a bar….then my friend had lunch with the mutual friend & the guy had tag along with the mutual friend again…. my friend noticed the guy was wearing the wedding ring…. she was surprise… she didn’t noticed it before…. she asked them are you marry?  he didn’t response….. how come u don’t wear ur wedding ring when i saw u at the bar?  there was no response… alot of ummm…. my friend and I didn’t flirt with the guy just casual chat nice meeting u but we noticed he was chatting with a lot of girls that night…. the mutual friend said yea he is married but later denied again…. umm ok… anyways my friend & I saw them again at a bar…. that time my friend & i noticed he wasn’t wearing a ring at the bar again….. it turned out he does have a wife who is at home…. is he want to cheat on her?  i don’t know for sure… but emotionally i think in a way he is cheating…. yes there is no rule u can’t come to the bar for a drink but do wear ur wedding ring…. don’t put it inside your pocket or leave it somewhere…. there is no reason to mislead the wife or the girls he was chatting with…. right?

long story short…. yes maybe i’m taking this the wrong way on story i wroted earlier…. but i wouldn’t want to be the girl he wanted to cheat emotionally with…. why wasting my time with someone who have a gf?  yes i do know people with girlfriends and i do chat with them…. i wouldn’t cross the line & i know they wouldn’t cross the line…. they would introduce to me to their gf & we all chat on random issues…..  i have a feeling he would never introduce me to the girl…..

Other side of the Globe…

i had been reading this series of book where main character lives in Europe aka London…. now i’m crazy in love with Europe and want to see what life is like there…. call me crazy i’m now regretting not typing “Jobs in Europe” in my Google bar….. damn it….. but i do need to save some $ for myself if i happen to move there…. awww everything does work out in the end….

here is a little tip for anyone who is reading this….. definitely do research before u move to another country…. believe me even within the States different part of the States do thing differently…. it doesn’t hurt to know their habit and the way they do things….. another task u need to do is go visit the country first to see if u going to like living there….. i visited places other countries past 2 yrs…. i must say even with people raving about “this is amazing —- u can’t find this anywhere else”  even with all the positive reviews and their own personal experiences stories mine was different…. i love visiting but i know i wouldn’t like living there…. why bother moving to a country where u know u r not going to enjoy it…. it helps if u have a chance to visit the country first and see for yourself…. when u visit for u also have an ideas which neighborhood u want to live in….. finding a place where u feel comfortable is the main challenge if u r going to rent or find a roommate…..

anyways…. now i’m in this zone where i’m reading more about Europe and what is like living there….. one crazy adventure at a time…. have a fabulous weekend! =)